it’s depressing to wake up and can’t remember a dream. that’s when a person wakes up during Non-RAM sleep. but the depressing part is it’s becomes slowly harder to envision somethings like I use to. My brain is running out of things to envision, which kills creativity at a young age. Guess I need to pull up my dist collector of a guitar and practice. I need to do something new to restore and/or create brain cells. because let’s face it: I’m 21, Female, Wanting to go into a career field where you need a creative mind, and most importantly not only will my design die but my writing, my painting, my way of seeing the world, and because of the levels at which my creativity is dropping shows much more than simple stress related issue. Hopefully this week I’ll get some type of cash to go to Central Park with my art supplies and/or a blanket and enjoy something that’s not surrounded by four walls. even thou the fact I could still see building makes the whole thing worthless, because I am remind I’m still surrounded by walls. My environment is growing way too old for me, and the last time I escape this jungle was before 5th grade. i was in another country, surrounded by real forest with no buildings in sight. that’s true peace, where you’re not remind of the close walls around you. So wish me luck for the next 2 years out of AI, because that’s where the depressing part comes to play, where my brain activity will decline hugely because I will have to work 5 days a week, plus the here and there of weekends, not only that the long hours of working. Stress is not what i’m concern about, i’m more worry about how the hell i’m going to get by for 2 years to be able to leave the country for a short time, to refresh my mentally and brain. I don’t want to die at the age of 30! I still have a list i want to do before i die, one of them is to open up a gallery of my work and another thing is to have kids so my WORK could live through them (not make them into me, just push them into a creative field or science).
Sorry, I’m talking too much. Good night/morning/afternoon/death/life/etc.