Last night was heartbreaking and emotionally intoxicating. 😦 talk out my pain and what brought me to this day, memories of how much I had to be strong enough not to become something I hated so much. How strong I had to force myself not act out of impulse. The pain is so great that I’ve cried myself to sleep. 😦 till this day I still have to force myself to be strong, I just don’t want to break and do something I’ll regret.
I have to force a smile on my face, a happy and out going personality, just so no one could see the scars I carry and the hell I’ve lived. Even as a child I might have been somewhat impulsive but the things that I really wanted to let go I had to force myself to stop. I have no choice but to keep to myself not just for the safety of others, but to also keep myself safe from doing something I don’t want to regret. I regret a lot of things, but there are things I’m glad I never got the chance to regret and I plan on keeping that way.
My mind as a way of trying to let me do impulsive things but I had to be strong to not do them.