back into a corner
where I must
think about
my actions
even thou
I have done nothing wrong

so I sit
there wondering
about anything
my thoughts
wonder off into
the subject
of my older sisters
and how much
I wish I could
should them
how much
they hurt me

I start to
get angry
and flashes
of me holding
my sister
by the neck
and banging her
head onto something hard
makes me want
to do it more

I start to see
how I will make
them suffer
in physical pain
the way they
made me
suffer through
the mental torment
of my up bringing
I will make
them bleed
in a thousand ways
as they
mental cut
through me

every time they would
speak I would
cut their
fingers off
one by one
till they realize
this is the
price I paid
to keep
my thoughts to
myself and force into
submission

every time they
try to fight back
I would put
salt on their wounds
this is the price
I paid
of being force
to never stand up
for myself

every time
they start to beg
for forgiveness
or plea
for me to stop
I would spit
on their face and
tell how
every time I plea
every time I beg
every time they put me
through hell
did they ever
think to stop

every time
they try
the pain will only
get worst
till they learn
to finally give up
and give in to
me and
finally understand
how it felt
to always be
pulled to the ground
and stepped on

just when I’m ready
to cut their
necks wild open
I snap back
to reality
and realize how
much I want
to hurt my sisters
but I don’t

I walk through
life as a ghost
and knowing if
I made them feel
the way they
made me feel
isn’t right
but it would
feel so good
but I wouldn’t.