Don’t know why
But everywhere I see
I feel some type of way
Like everyone has
It better than me
Use would dislike them for it

Then I would get
Frustrated because
Why can’t I
Have what they have
The way someone dresses
Makes me sick
The way someone
Would have something
Better than me

There were times
I would even
Hated my greatest friend
All because he seemed
Happier than me
I felt a pitch black
Inside every time
I saw that everyone
And everything around me
Seem to have
Everything and I
Had nothing

I look like I
Was always broke
Everything I ever
Own was garbage
In my family eyes
I grew thinking
That the only way
To prove my worth
Was to impress the
Very people who
Always made me
Feel like I’m
Never going to be
Anything

So many times
I’ve tempted
To grab for
Something that
Would just
Get rid of the pain
But I’ve seen
First hand
That what I thought
Might work
Wouldn’t work
So many times
I would read
The pill bottle
To figure out
How much would
Kill me

So many times
I grew enraged
About the things
I didn’t have
And saw someone else
Have it

It angers me
Seeing my own friends
Having fun
Without me
I became
Enraged with
My own reflection
Because I come to believe
I’m never
Good enough
I will never
Be happy
I’m ugly
I could never
Get what I want
I’m a complete
Waste of breath

So everywhere
I look
The black pitch inside
Beings to hurt
And here I am
Forcing myself
To ignore
I try to forget it
I try to
Give to someone
Who has nothing
The little I have

But sadly
I’m even frustrated
With people who
Seem to have nothing
Because to me
They don’t really have nothing
The only lack
Food and a roof
But to me
They are lucky
They are free
From the hell
Of trying to fit in
To be able to live

I grew enraged
With everything around me
And yet I try
To get everything
Under control
But I slowly
Lose myself
In this battle
Within.