Sometimes I look in the mirror and all I can think about is how the hell do I have friends, family, and is not in an asylum? The way my mind works and thinks should be put down, sometimes I get surprise at how I just don’t let myself do the shirt I think about. I have horrible desires that are only looked down upon, and things I write in my stories to control myself. But there are times writing about just hurts because of how much I of a monster I really am. In my current book projects “Tenak” and “Gothic Warrior” there’s parts about how I want o actually want to touch little kids. How I just want to throw my own family members across a room and laugh my head off. How I want to take the people who called themselves my friends and rip wholes through their guts and watch them bleed to death. How I sometimes feel like letting go of something in my heads, and I have to keep telling myself no to. How there’s times I see a person and just want to reach over and just claim them as mine. How much I just to just rip my skin off to prove to myself this is not my body. Every time these thought come up I have to keep reminding myself this is not me. But why the hell do I feel this way.
There’s times I show off to myself how smart I really am, and how much I can really do if I just let go. But I have to keep reminding myself it’s all in my head and everything I think can happen is not humanly possible. Could be the reasons why in my childhood dreams I created a door into my own recreation of the world where humanity was more free. And I was it’s ruler, even though I didn’t really cared much want people did with their freedom. I created fairy like creatures that can transform into anything you wanted and could never be killed.
Reasons why the first people to get them as partners was people who were insane or criminals. I had 2, the gender didn’t matter but I just wanted 2 for myself. I would sometimes make them do very naughty and painful things. It brought me great joy seeing them covered in their own blood as they were my toys. Of course as I got older so did they. But the days I felt I wanted to go for child my fairies would tune into them.
I’m technically not hurting a human child, because this fairy is as old as I, just looks like a child. Every pedophiles dream is to be with a child and not have anything in their way of their desires. Because this with a transforming fairy it goes pass human rights and becomes perfectly legal. There is not argument over a transforming fairy, or even the fact the fairy can never die, so you could do want whatever you with the body and no harms could ever come of it.
My fairies would be the perfect toy. Can be both male and female, could become children when I desire it, can be chop into pieces and still be by my side, I could technically rape them and it would perfectly legal