As the clouds of memories starts to encloseThe fog of sorrow formFrom the depths of mindAnd heartWhere the valley of lost are remembered Whispers of past one wish to forgetThe cruelty of a bloodline one sharesWords of selfishness and worthlessAre spat at thyWhen in truthYou given your very soulTo a beast that holds no shame… Read More Poor But Not Broken
I think I’m still not over my culture shock from moving from NYC to Grants Pass, OR. Especially when I dealt with my appointment last month in Portland, OR. I got excited about seeing skyscrapers and seeing a range of diversity of people. I got excited to see more than white ppl! Oh god! Do… Read More Health 078
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you. Comfort me when dealing emotionally distress. Mainly my grandparents, and my dad when he takes me to the doctors growing up. And recently, my dad validating my decision to leave New York to better my life. Especially stating he’s happy I left my sisters… Read More Healing Journey ###
I don’t know how to describe it but I always feel like I’m home whenever I’m in a hardware store. Probably because I grew up in my dad’s shop, and went with him whenever he went shopping for parts. My dad is a plumber and was a super for an apartment building. I also used… Read More Rant 044
Kinda want to dye my hair for my official 32nd birthday. I say kinda because that requires me to buy the supplies and put in the work. Or pay a professional (or student), which is a very tedious process. The paying someone else part is more on the trying to find someone i trust enough… Read More Health 070
Found out the reason for my sleep and digestion issues I been having for the past few days. Along with why i was gaining weight, even when I have been sticking to my diet. I haven’t been drinking enough water. The day before yesterday, or at least the extreme AM of yesterday, I looked up… Read More Health 068
Sometimes when I feel down on myself I look back on when I decided to become sober (alcohol). Which I’m reaching my 3rd year anniversary on May 9th. Because it puts into perspective how far I came. Such as in 2023 I reached my heaviest at 270 lbs. But with lots of hard work, as… Read More Health 062
Besides my perfectionism holding me back, I’m starting to think that my fear of injury is also making it difficult to make any progress in my health journey. Especially since I’m constantly convincing myself I’m not ready for something because I could get hurt if done wrong. It’s even more apparent since I’m doing this… Read More Health. Rant 042
A quote of the week that I’m trying to live by. “Sometimes a huge leap of faith is necessary instead of a baby step.” This week’s quote is a reminder to myself that I been living my life taking small steps to change and improve. But during the rare moments I took a leap of… Read More Trauma Recovery: 007
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why? Yes I mean… both. It’s an automatic reaction. Making it difficult to control. I’m either hyper fixated on the past, i.e everything I been through. Or so fixated on the things I want in future that I don’t do anything in the… Read More
Xexiar 