What is the greatest gift someone could give you? My plane ticket to travel from New York to Oregon. Besides that, small gifts my true friends given me out of pure kindness. Any gift from family came with conditions. So when getting something from my friends “just because” at first felt weird and uncomfortable, since… Read More Gift giving
Goal for 2025 is to stop being a perfectionist. From learning to not overthink the small details to giving myself the freedom to be the me when I used to be an alcoholic. The alcoholic me was free and just didn’t care. Was confident and just went for it. I want to be that without… Read More Trauma Recovery: 2025 Goals
I will not get over the fact that compared to my siblings I actually tried to follow the religion my family is apart of. From the morals to what a person is supposed to be. I said “tired”. Even when my family and have very different opinions on how to follow such principles, along with… Read More Trauma Recovery 005
It’s one of those things of I had a reached a decent point in many of my public profiles, but it was exhausting and I felt like a fake. And in my attempts to find myself again, I feel like I’m lacking something. Oh well, at least I’m trying and I’ll eventually get back to… Read More Trauma Recovery 004
It’s been 28 days since my hysterectomy, and I have made great progress since my last update. I am taking my sweet time recovering. From finally being able to wash both my hands at the same time to sleeping on my stomach. During my 2-week post-surgery checkup I have been giving the clear to sleep… Read More Health 041. Surgery Update
A part of me wants to start something but the other part is calling it a waste of time. Like trying to wait for everything to line up but then when I get there will I still make excuses that it’s not perfect enough. One of those things of being a traumatized perfectionist. I can’t… Read More Trauma Recovery 003
My horrible emotions this past few days has made me gain 5 lbs. I’m close to not caring the rest of the month. But I can’t do that to myself. I gotta at least go from 244 to 240 by December 31th. At least close to 240. I’m not mad or disappointed, because I know… Read More Health 039
I love cooking and making stuff from scratch because for the brief time I become a kid again and have a blast making a mess. At that, the kind where I just don’t care because I’m enjoying myself. Best part, nobody is around to yell at me for the mess because it’s my kitchen! The… Read More Childlike Joy. Trauma Recovery 001
This is why I’m glad I was finally able to seek physical therapy for my back and pelvic floor. Since it help me give me a baseline on how I am and where I can improve. It’s one thing to try to learn all this on my own, and I’m very knowledgeable about a lot… Read More Health Rant 036
I got to admit, I’m kinda surprised that after 6 days since surgery the surgery sights aren’t as bruised and swollen I thought they’ll be. Sure, I’m extremely grateful. Especially when I know my abdomen area heals better than the rest of my body. But I can’t deny I’m shocked with how everything is looking.… Read More Health 034
Xexiar 