As I get ready to sit down to plan my expenses for July (2026), I review my budget sheet for the second half of the year. The same sheet I created for the whole year, but split into 2 to make it manageable. I already completed and tracked the budget for January through March, which will be my template for next year. I just finished summarizing my projected vs. actual expenses for June, and I found that I had saved $17.65 at the end of my calculations, which is a nice pace under a tight budget.
With all that in mind, I’m reviewing my July budget. So I start by adjusting the non-negotiable expenses that I have to pay each month. Thankfully, my rent, phone, and utilities don’t change that often during this time of the year. Usually, those changes happen during the fall and the first month of the year. I also determine the budget I need for monthly home essentials. Based on past months, I find I can typically work with a $20 to $50 price range, with sometimes going over to $60 to $70 for cat non-negotiables. Not to mention, I’m also working with a $200 monthly grocery budget.
With all the non-negotiables out of the way, it’s time to review the main point of the monthly planning process. Needs and Wants. I could plan a fixed budget for this category, but first I need to figure out what must go in it. There’s wanting to eat out, paying credit card bills, paying off personal debt, and lifestyle items. But this is a category I struggled with the most.
I can easily put money down to pay off debt and credit cards. That’s not an issue, even if I’m struggling financially every month. Paying to eat out or for lifestyle items comes at a greater cost. Do I require clothes, shoes, and basic human self-care items? Yes. But do I prioritize them? No. I would gladly wear worn-out clothes and shoes if it meant all my non-negotiable expenses were being met. In fact, those are being kept up to such tight expectations that I actually have money left over to spend on myself.
Now, as I make a list of things I need, it becomes a very odd phenomenon. For starters, I want to clarify that I have a strong mental hurdle when it comes to clothes. That said, as I look at things that I could spend on in July, this list might seem odd. After 2 years in my first apartment, I have reached a point where I can no longer avoid the issues I have with cleaning. I manually clean everything. Even though I have issues with my fingers locking on me when I scrub the bathroom or squeeze water out of a mop, you would think by now I would have bought tools to assist with such a challenging task.
Due to my personal background, which I have stated many times, I have issues spending money on tools for tasks I could do myself. This is strongly evident in trauma-based upbringing around personal finance. I can easily break down someone else’s requirements and tell them what they need and what they don’t. Just for myself, I struggle to accept that I need help and to spend money on myself. BUT for July, I am looking into getting electrical tools to assist in cleaning. I am still trying not to talk myself out of this decision, like I have been doing my whole life.
After that comes the living environment; by all accounts, I can easily say my home is “functional”. I’ve been so mentally suck on the thought I can’t build a life in my current state of Oregon because I don’t want to bring unnecessary equipment with me when I finally move back to NYC. YET, all my belongings are in bins. I do not have a proper place to store my clothing or everyday essentials. I am still living in a homeless mindset that I have grown up with my whole life. And so, my plan for July is to start small in making my apartment livable. But what is considered “livable”?
My apartment feels empty, almost like there are no signs of life. I have more home essentials items than items that make the space feel like a home. My place looks like I can move at any moment without a second look. In fact, I made it clear to many people that if I didn’t own a cat, I would easily pack up 3 suitcases and leave everything behind without a second thought. I have no sense of “home”. I work. I can easily help others. I constantly adapt. My “home” is whatever I can fit in a book bag. So, I’m trying hard to figure out how to make a couple of walls “livable”, when my upbringing made “home” feel like a jail cell.
Do I buy décor? I could buy more tools to help with tasks. But then that becomes another item I can easily look past. Heck, I have 2 couches I don’t even use or consider a requirement. Not like I have guests anyway. I would happily live in an empty apartment because what’s the whole point. And THAT’s my issue.
So, I’m thinking of starting small and adding some decorations to make the space feel like someone actually lives here. I can buy tools and furniture along the way. As I do so, I can buy things to make this place feel like home, which makes me more inclined to make it “livable.”