Some reason what’s keeping me motivated to stick to my weight loss and health journey is watching commentary on “my 600 pound life” and people discussing the delusion of those in “Fat Acceptance”. But, hey. If being reminded where I could have been is what’s keeping me on my path to not get there, then… Read More Health 065
Sometimes when I feel down on myself I look back on when I decided to become sober (alcohol). Which I’m reaching my 3rd year anniversary on May 9th. Because it puts into perspective how far I came. Such as in 2023 I reached my heaviest at 270 lbs. But with lots of hard work, as… Read More Health 062
Can’t sleep so I applied for jobs. Which made me realize how much my resume needed a huge upgrade and that I know more than I thought. Like I been downplaying myself for so long I became blind to all my skill sets. And the large range I have. Just to give an example under… Read More Rant 039
It feels nice having an upgrade to my bed. I finally have room to stretch out and none of my limbs are hanging off the bed. 🥹 Went from a twin to a queen size bed. Like my arms and feet actually are still within the bed. No more awkwardly trying to stay put in… Read More Trauma Recovery. 008
A quote of the week that I’m trying to live by. “Sometimes a huge leap of faith is necessary instead of a baby step.” This week’s quote is a reminder to myself that I been living my life taking small steps to change and improve. But during the rare moments I took a leap of… Read More Trauma Recovery: 007
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life? What’s considered a long life? Just living to see the next day to me is living a long life because not many reach my age or older. Which makes me grateful and I want to fill everyday I’m consciously living with something… Read More
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why? Yes I mean… both. It’s an automatic reaction. Making it difficult to control. I’m either hyper fixated on the past, i.e everything I been through. Or so fixated on the things I want in future that I don’t do anything in the… Read More
What is the greatest gift someone could give you? My plane ticket to travel from New York to Oregon. Besides that, small gifts my true friends given me out of pure kindness. Any gift from family came with conditions. So when getting something from my friends “just because” at first felt weird and uncomfortable, since… Read More Gift giving
Goal for 2025 is to stop being a perfectionist. From learning to not overthink the small details to giving myself the freedom to be the me when I used to be an alcoholic. The alcoholic me was free and just didn’t care. Was confident and just went for it. I want to be that without… Read More Trauma Recovery: 2025 Goals
I will not get over the fact that compared to my siblings I actually tried to follow the religion my family is apart of. From the morals to what a person is supposed to be. I said “tired”. Even when my family and have very different opinions on how to follow such principles, along with… Read More Trauma Recovery 005
Xexiar 