Goal for 2025 is to stop being a perfectionist. From learning to not overthink the small details to giving myself the freedom to be the me when I used to be an alcoholic. The alcoholic me was free and just didn’t care. Was confident and just went for it. I want to be that without… Read More Trauma Recovery: 2025 Goals
It’s one of those things of I had a reached a decent point in many of my public profiles, but it was exhausting and I felt like a fake. And in my attempts to find myself again, I feel like I’m lacking something. Oh well, at least I’m trying and I’ll eventually get back to… Read More Trauma Recovery 004
A part of me wants to start something but the other part is calling it a waste of time. Like trying to wait for everything to line up but then when I get there will I still make excuses that it’s not perfect enough. One of those things of being a traumatized perfectionist. I can’t… Read More Trauma Recovery 003
My horrible emotions this past few days has made me gain 5 lbs. I’m close to not caring the rest of the month. But I can’t do that to myself. I gotta at least go from 244 to 240 by December 31th. At least close to 240. I’m not mad or disappointed, because I know… Read More Health 039
This is why I’m glad I was finally able to seek physical therapy for my back and pelvic floor. Since it help me give me a baseline on how I am and where I can improve. It’s one thing to try to learn all this on my own, and I’m very knowledgeable about a lot… Read More Health Rant 036
Just wanna vent. As much as I want to buy a new mattress next month, it’ll be super unreasonable for me to do so. Sure, my current mattress is pretty sunken in, but I can manage a little longer. But that’s not why it’ll be unreasonable to get a new mattress. I currently won’t be… Read More Health 033
So… randomly I looked at the sizing of my shirts as I put them to wash, and I learned something amazing. My everyday shirts I wore for basically a year, big enough to fit comfortably but enough extra fabric it looked bigger than me, are all 3XL (and are men shirts). My Lane Bryant long… Read More Health 029
I’m still shocked, embarrassed, and giggling at myself for admitting to my case manager my type. Shocked that I said it out loud. Embarrassed because the way I said it. Giggling over the whole situation. She did comment how I’ll most likely meet my type in the gym. But I mentioned I rather meet them… Read More Rant 028
I definitely needed a rest day. Been having a rough cough, like the itchy throat dry cough one gets during allergy season. But you would think that me drinking tea, drinking water, and taking cough drops would help. Nope. So I really need to take a full on rest day, probably at least 2. And… Read More Health 022
Was two minutes off to completing my 30 minutes workout, but I’m done. Which is all good. Today was extra hard, since I added extra types of exercise and finally moved from doing everything on the floor to full on standing. I finally progressed from “easy to get me to workout daily” to “doing the… Read More Physical Health 021
Xexiar 