Just had a thought. Maybe I don’t like hiking and the outdoors the way I thought I did. There can be a much deeper reason behind such desires. Like my longing, since childhood, of wanting to escape. The deep urge of running away from my family. That could be the reason I looked to nature… Read More Just maybe…
It’s so difficult to express how badly I want to feel wanted. How horribly selfish I feel for wishing to be cared for and lovely. The pain of everyone around me not wanting to deal with me. The pain of hearing them speak how my own mother giving me up. To be constantly reminded that… Read More Wanting
This is just strange. I can’t sleep nor think. And whatever thoughts I do have are about my book characters. Is this a way to help cope with the true emotions I have been trying to avoid? I finally am going to see a therapist, in Oregon. But as I spoke during my assessment it… Read More Thoughts
After leaving my family back in September I finally got a journal again. Maybe now I can process my thoughts and emotions better. Since moving a lot has happened and it was difficult to adjust. Especially to my new environment and fighting my environmental programming. I’m still in great disbelief in what I accomplished in… Read More The Abandon Child
What is a boy to do? Especially as the world sees you as a girl Where the common notion is telling you it’s all a phase How you’re just being a tomboy How you don’t know what you’re talking about Being surrounded with people who don’t see you They just stare and demand you to… Read More Xexiar. P1
Xexiar 