It’s such a great feeling to finally express that I was never female and that I’m male. Especially expressing that me saying I’m non-binary for so long was just me trying hard to accept I was born female. Almost like how I made every justification to call myself bisexual when that’s not true. I had… Read More
Tag: trauma
I Just Want to Scream
I put in so much work into avoiding something and I usually do a good job at it until someone points it out. After that I fall back into the cycle of that bad habit and then I get blame for doing it again. I been doing so good until you said something. And then… Read More I Just Want to Scream
Sometimes
Sometimes I wake and don’t recognize where I am Sometimes I wake and all I feel is scared I’m just roaming around Wondering will I ever wake up Roaming and questioning When will I wake up and be the nightmare all over again I’m still wearing that smile Like it’s real I’m still falling for… Read More Sometimes
Records don’t lie
I went through my records and it finally made sense what they were stating. This whole time, on record, I was given the diagnosis of being autistic. The issue was they were using different words to state that. It also gives proof that I also have adhd.
Suicide
Know what’s the worst thing I heard growing up suicidal. Constantly being told to think about other people and how they would feel. Not once did anyone validate my feelings and tried to speak to me about why I felt that way. Making it ever so clear that I wasn’t even important enough to be… Read More Suicide
Pills
Know what sucks about constantly dealing with suicidal ideations and urges, is that I’m constantly avoiding medication. From pain meds to psychaitris meds. Especially because that was always my way out. Too many times coming close to overdose. Even worse when going through the process to be prescribed heavy meds to go through with finally… Read More Pills
July 28, 2022
I’m getting tired of people being surprised I haven’t heard or seen certain movies or bands. Especially when it feels like I’m being shamed for not knowing. They don’t get that I was extremely sheltered and isolated my whole life. At that, I’m much younger. Even my own older siblings shamed me for not knowing… Read More July 28, 2022
Service Dog?
So thinking about dogs again. I do have my emotional support cat. But brain is weird today since I’m still recovering from a heavy crash. 2 full days in bed, leading into a 3rd day. A conversation on huskies came up and so that lead to a little research. My long term goal is to… Read More Service Dog?
Small Joys
You ever get excited over something so small that you just want to share it with the world?Well I do! I got this part of the carpet clean without using a broom to do so. For the longest dealing with how the litter box and my makeshift bed was on the same level really effected… Read More Small Joys
Feeling
With recently speaking to my nephew again and one of my older sisters, I’m feeling very strange. Plus, the news that one of my aunts died and getting in contact with my cousin over it. Along with speaking with one of my nieces. All these things back to back has me on edge. Not to… Read More Feeling
Xexiar 