Come home after surgery and all my knowledge of being mindful and calm kicked itself out the window. It took me practically 3 days to remember who tf I was and all my skills.

Like SERIOUSLY! All my planning and getting myself together mentally went straight out the window the moment I got home.

I had been having anxiety attack after anxiety attack for the first 3 days back. Had a major one last night. But after calm down and playing video games I finally remembered who the fuck I was. 😂

So, after calming down enough I realized a lot of my symptoms wasn’t being helped by pain meds. I basically forgot my own body and how it reacts to medication. Same thing happened with sleep.

Of course I’m uncomfortable, I’m currently hyper sensitive to everything. So it took me a bit to allow myself to relax long enough to adjust to were I was comfortable enough to sleep.

Compare to the 5 hours of sleep I got the night before, I got more last night. Still woke up but just enough to readjust myself.

I’m so silly.