I think I’m still not over my culture shock from moving from NYC to Grants Pass, OR. Especially when I dealt with my appointment last month in Portland, OR. I got excited about seeing skyscrapers and seeing a range of diversity of people. I got excited to see more than white ppl! Oh god! Do… Read More Health 078
I’m almost at my goal for the month of losing 5 lbs. I’m not trying to do a drastic weight loss. My aim to do it to where it’s easy to maintain. Starting weight for this month was 242.4. Current weight as of today is 237.8 lbs. That’s a 4.6 lbs difference. I’m very excited… Read More Health 067
This is why I’m glad I was finally able to seek physical therapy for my back and pelvic floor. Since it help me give me a baseline on how I am and where I can improve. It’s one thing to try to learn all this on my own, and I’m very knowledgeable about a lot… Read More Health Rant 036
I definitely needed a rest day. Been having a rough cough, like the itchy throat dry cough one gets during allergy season. But you would think that me drinking tea, drinking water, and taking cough drops would help. Nope. So I really need to take a full on rest day, probably at least 2. And… Read More Health 022
Things I wish I said yesterday during the last day of this round of mindfulness group I’m grateful to have all my 5 senses. To be able to see the world around with the bonus of color and depth. When some people are either born blind or become blind later on. To be able to… Read More Gratitude
After a night that had me spiraling to where my “unaliving” thoughts were strong, I’m slowly recovering today. Last night was so bad that I didn’t take my mood stabilizer (meds) because not only did I forget but also I have a very horrible history with medication. And today I slowly been unraveling a few… Read More Rant 019
You have left this worldLeaving me powerlessNo amount of begging or pleadingWill ever bring you back But what am I to doFor everywhere I turnTraces of you are still thereEvery taskIs not the same I can’t breathe or thinkWithout the crushing painStinking me lower to the ground I just want toRun from this realityAnd into… Read More Grief of a Love One
Some reason I’m having an imaginary conversation that could happen during my annual gyn exam and it’s with my surgeon. The conversation goes into me telling him my excitement and how gender euphoric it’s going to be. Along with how I’m trying to calm my anxiety. … Saying how regardless of my gender I would… Read More Rant 017
I sometimes wonder why I’m always in the wrong. From the why I feel, my thoughts, my beliefs, my needs, just about anything that has to do with me. Today I just feel so inadequate and if I even dare try to express that why someone things always go one or two ways. One (typically… Read More Rant 010
You ever been so lost and tired that you don’t recognize yourself no matter how hard you try. Where you keep wearing a mask but not sure how to take it off? Like I been so focused on saving money for potential rental deposit, since a lot of “assistances” wasn’t helping with that. I also… Read More Rant 007
Xexiar 