As this month been progressing, I have notice I have stopped on certain things. Also, I have been engaged in others. I have been ignoring my fanfics, updating Soulmates and Invaders, and just been kinda all over the place. I have tried to work on my Pride Month blog post and even pride related artwork. But I’m losing my drive.

Like my heart isn’t in the fanfics anymore. Not like it was there to begin with. But I must continue because they help me improve and force me to write every day. Yet for the past week I been drawing and it got in the way of writing. I’m so all over the place.

It’s to where I feel like I’m failing as a writer. I’m not putting up work on a level I know I can, and not so constant. This is something else I’m fighting with. I even feel ashamed to admit that I’m losing steam and want to quit all together. But if I do so I’ll never get past this. I’ll always quit when the going gets hard and will never learn.

So, for fun stake, next post is what I have for my upcoming chapters of some works. I got used to the idea that my fanfic chapters need to be long, so this feels wrong. At the beginning I just wrote and called it a day. Now I feel I need to write at least 6 to 10 pages worth of a chapter to post it. This also goes for my own writing that I post publicly. I’m feeling pressure to write a lot to make a chapter worth the read. To get in-depth with each character and emotion. But same time I sometimes feel like I missed the mark. I would like to just write but same time keep the momentum going and saying I could still do this.

I’m really struggling with this.