For someone who talks a lot online, especially in written format, I am dogshit terrified of doing so in video format. For goodness sake, I have made accounts just to make vlog like post. But my dumb truck of a behind thinks I’m gonna fuck up because I’m not interesting or with how I don’t… Read More Rant 030
I love cooking and making stuff from scratch because for the brief time I become a kid again and have a blast making a mess. At that, the kind where I just don’t care because I’m enjoying myself. Best part, nobody is around to yell at me for the mess because it’s my kitchen! The… Read More Childlike Joy. Trauma Recovery 001
This is why I’m glad I was finally able to seek physical therapy for my back and pelvic floor. Since it help me give me a baseline on how I am and where I can improve. It’s one thing to try to learn all this on my own, and I’m very knowledgeable about a lot… Read More Health Rant 036
I got to admit, I’m kinda surprised that after 6 days since surgery the surgery sights aren’t as bruised and swollen I thought they’ll be. Sure, I’m extremely grateful. Especially when I know my abdomen area heals better than the rest of my body. But I can’t deny I’m shocked with how everything is looking.… Read More Health 034
Just wanna vent. As much as I want to buy a new mattress next month, it’ll be super unreasonable for me to do so. Sure, my current mattress is pretty sunken in, but I can manage a little longer. But that’s not why it’ll be unreasonable to get a new mattress. I currently won’t be… Read More Health 033
Come home after surgery and all my knowledge of being mindful and calm kicked itself out the window. It took me practically 3 days to remember who tf I was and all my skills. Like SERIOUSLY! All my planning and getting myself together mentally went straight out the window the moment I got home. I… Read More Health 032
The countdown has started. In preparation I’m forcing myself to deal with eating very little and drinking a lot of water. Along with taking a laxative. All this is because tomorrow I have to deal with a liquid diet. Because Wednesday is my surgery. I’m super excited and nervous. Most of my nervousness comes from… Read More Health 031
I’m gonna chalk it up to my digestive system has been out of wack and I been trying to get it better before surgery. Because how the hell did I go from 245 lbs to 243.6 lbs in 3 days. Like I said, my digestive system been off and I’m trying to get back into… Read More Physical Health 030
So… randomly I looked at the sizing of my shirts as I put them to wash, and I learned something amazing. My everyday shirts I wore for basically a year, big enough to fit comfortably but enough extra fabric it looked bigger than me, are all 3XL (and are men shirts). My Lane Bryant long… Read More Health 029
Did I eat more than 1500 calories today? Yes.Was I still in my calorie deficit? Also yes.Do I regret overdoing it? Nope.Dinner was filling and hit the spot. Sure, I went overboard with the chicken but fuck it. Besides, today re-enforced what I needed to do. From the fact I needed heavy meals so I… Read More Health 025
Xexiar 