Sometimes when I feel down on myself I look back on when I decided to become sober (alcohol). Which I’m reaching my 3rd year anniversary on May 9th. Because it puts into perspective how far I came. Such as in 2023 I reached my heaviest at 270 lbs. But with lots of hard work, as… Read More Health 062
Besides my perfectionism holding me back, I’m starting to think that my fear of injury is also making it difficult to make any progress in my health journey. Especially since I’m constantly convincing myself I’m not ready for something because I could get hurt if done wrong. It’s even more apparent since I’m doing this… Read More Health. Rant 042
Starting weight for the month is 241.2 lbs Hopefully I stick to my diet and exercise routine to lost 5lbs this month. Cause the month after surgery threw me off HARD! And trying to re-discipline myself is a struggle. But I can confidently say I haven’t gone back to being 250 lbs I at least… Read More Health 060
Today workout wasn’t planned, at least the weight part. But saw the weight room wasn’t super crowded, so took advantage of it. The room only started to get packed as I was leaving. Super glad I did some strength training after such a long time. Plus I was kinda surprised by how much I was… Read More Health ###
I’m so out of it today that I’m gonna try my best to not push myself to reach all my goals. In a sense, I’m treating today as a reset day. Meaning it’s okay if I eat way less than my calorie deficit goals. It’s okay if I don’t reach my exercise goals. As long… Read More Health ###
Last week I had my annual dentist appointment and to no surprise 5 teeth are in such bad shape that I’ll potentially lose them in the future. I’m at least hoping that day won’t be in the near future It’s not a shock to me because of my bad health history. Especially when parents didn’t… Read More Health 045
It feels nice having an upgrade to my bed. I finally have room to stretch out and none of my limbs are hanging off the bed. 🥹 Went from a twin to a queen size bed. Like my arms and feet actually are still within the bed. No more awkwardly trying to stay put in… Read More Trauma Recovery. 008
Today is kinda a rest day while also a reset day. I’ve pushed through my anxiety and used the weight room at the gym for 2 days straight. I kind of overdid it in the sense using that room is still kinda awkward, but I at least tried. But this week I have been lacking… Read More Health ###
A quote of the week that I’m trying to live by. “Sometimes a huge leap of faith is necessary instead of a baby step.” This week’s quote is a reminder to myself that I been living my life taking small steps to change and improve. But during the rare moments I took a leap of… Read More Trauma Recovery: 007
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why? Yes I mean… both. It’s an automatic reaction. Making it difficult to control. I’m either hyper fixated on the past, i.e everything I been through. Or so fixated on the things I want in future that I don’t do anything in the… Read More
Xexiar 