I’m ready to return home to NYC.

Even people who are burnt out still manage to get through it all in nyc.

I survived a call center for 2 months before I finally cracked. Yet I was willing to work for the nyc DMV if wasn’t for the temporary job placement of 3 months. I have managed high stress jobs and hostile family life, but still managed to survive. But after finally getting my disability things went downhill FAST. And Covid hit the same year I started my SSDI. During Covid with no escape from home life, and having a mental crash out, I was done for. I’m a New Yorker, I’m built to keep busy. 

Without work and not being able to venture outside due to COVID I got stuck with family, which speeded up my unwillingness to want to keep breathing and my body also on the edge of shutdown. Sure, Grants Pass was a much needed vacation. But I need out of this vacation!

I can’t stand the quiet, the isolation, the lack of systems, the fact I need a car to do ANYTHING! I’m done being in the middle of nowhere trying to survive.

I finished therapy. I’m going to be doing my top surgery next month. The only gender affirming doctor in this nowhere town is leaving at the end of the year. Which the clinic is going to use a doctor from a different town branch, with telehealth.

I need to get out of here before August or things are going to get challenging. Not just for my physical health, but also my mental and trans health. I’m already planning to job hunt remote NYC jobs the moment I’m able to in January. And I’m gonna go hard body, cause I need the fuck out of here.

I ain’t planning to transfer my section 8 to NYC, that not gonna help with shit! I need a job to be able to afford an apartment, the expense of a move, and a car in NYC so I can find a cheap apartment AWAY from the main boroughs. I ain’t going back stupid, but I’m sure as hell I’m definitely going back HOME!

I fucking miss the year round sun, the noise, the RATS, the “don’t talk to me” Monday mornings. I miss working for a company! I miss the sticking to a schedule, even I’m exhausted, but I definitely ain’t gonna be late. I managed 7 office jobs with no super, sheer willpower, hostile family life, and broke.

I’m so fucking done of doing absolutely NOTHING! I want to go back to the hassle of office work! Because at least now I won’t have family drama sucking me dry like mosquitoes. God damn! I even miss mosquitoes!