I’m ready to return home to NYC. Even people who are burnt out still manage to get through it all in nyc. I survived a call center for 2 months before I finally cracked. Yet I was willing to work for the nyc DMV if wasn’t for the temporary job placement of 3 months. I… Read More Health 079
Besides my perfectionism holding me back, I’m starting to think that my fear of injury is also making it difficult to make any progress in my health journey. Especially since I’m constantly convincing myself I’m not ready for something because I could get hurt if done wrong. It’s even more apparent since I’m doing this… Read More Health. Rant 042
A part of me wants to start something but the other part is calling it a waste of time. Like trying to wait for everything to line up but then when I get there will I still make excuses that it’s not perfect enough. One of those things of being a traumatized perfectionist. I can’t… Read More Trauma Recovery 003
Just wanna vent. As much as I want to buy a new mattress next month, it’ll be super unreasonable for me to do so. Sure, my current mattress is pretty sunken in, but I can manage a little longer. But that’s not why it’ll be unreasonable to get a new mattress. I currently won’t be… Read More Health 033
I think quitting alcohol is much easier than overcoming my ED. In the sense that it’s easy to avoid alcohol when I’m broke, so it’s become easier to rationalize that I don’t need it. But when it comes to my ED I have to deal with food. Food is an important thing that is use… Read More Physical Health 012
After a night that had me spiraling to where my “unaliving” thoughts were strong, I’m slowly recovering today. Last night was so bad that I didn’t take my mood stabilizer (meds) because not only did I forget but also I have a very horrible history with medication. And today I slowly been unraveling a few… Read More Rant 019
Some reason I feel my first aid supplies is lacking. Along with over the counter medicine. … OTC: pain relief (off brand Tylenol), nasel relief (allergy nose pump), theraflu. First aid: anitiseptic cleaning spray, 3% hydrogen peroxide (spray), 70% isopropyl alcohol (rubbing alcohol), ice cold analgesic gel (menthol 1.25%)[like iceyhot but not], 50 spf sunscreen,… Read More Rant 018
I sometimes wonder why I’m always in the wrong. From the why I feel, my thoughts, my beliefs, my needs, just about anything that has to do with me. Today I just feel so inadequate and if I even dare try to express that why someone things always go one or two ways. One (typically… Read More Rant 010
So as I’m sitting around today a little thought popped up. I wonder if I would do any justice if I were to write all my antithetical beliefs and thoughts about topics I feel strongly about, even though many of the topics are things I’ve observed and struggled to justify if I even can speak… Read More Rant 008
You ever been so lost and tired that you don’t recognize yourself no matter how hard you try. Where you keep wearing a mask but not sure how to take it off? Like I been so focused on saving money for potential rental deposit, since a lot of “assistances” wasn’t helping with that. I also… Read More Rant 007
Xexiar 