As the clouds of memories starts to encloseThe fog of sorrow formFrom the depths of mindAnd heartWhere the valley of lost are remembered Whispers of past one wish to forgetThe cruelty of a bloodline one sharesWords of selfishness and worthlessAre spat at thyWhen in truthYou given your very soulTo a beast that holds no shame… Read More Poor But Not Broken
You have left this worldLeaving me powerlessNo amount of begging or pleadingWill ever bring you back But what am I to doFor everywhere I turnTraces of you are still thereEvery taskIs not the same I can’t breathe or thinkWithout the crushing painStinking me lower to the ground I just want toRun from this realityAnd into… Read More Grief of a Love One
Sometimes I wonder if the rose on the other side ever feels lonely. With how much I scream and shout, it will never hear me. The way this glass box surrounds me, I can feel the oxygen escaping my lungs. But there is no door or window for me to leave. The rose is just… Read More A Rose
I gave you what you wanted to see. I gave you the persona you thought I should be. I became the shadow you carry your whole life. So, what’s wrong? Do you not like what you see? Because the moment I become myself you don’t recognize me. Why are you so angry with the shadow… Read More Shadow
Sometimes I wake and don’t recognize where I am Sometimes I wake and all I feel is scared I’m just roaming around Wondering will I ever wake up Roaming and questioning When will I wake up and be the nightmare all over again I’m still wearing that smile Like it’s real I’m still falling for… Read More Sometimes
Know what’s the worst thing I heard growing up suicidal. Constantly being told to think about other people and how they would feel. Not once did anyone validate my feelings and tried to speak to me about why I felt that way. Making it ever so clear that I wasn’t even important enough to be… Read More Suicide
Know what sucks about constantly dealing with suicidal ideations and urges, is that I’m constantly avoiding medication. From pain meds to psychaitris meds. Especially because that was always my way out. Too many times coming close to overdose. Even worse when going through the process to be prescribed heavy meds to go through with finally… Read More Pills
The sky is bright and lovelyBut not warmIf only for a momentI wish to embrace the colorsOf one’s soul
It’s so difficult to express how badly I want to feel wanted. How horribly selfish I feel for wishing to be cared for and lovely. The pain of everyone around me not wanting to deal with me. The pain of hearing them speak how my own mother giving me up. To be constantly reminded that… Read More Wanting
I feel so hopeless It’s not that I’m going back to my old ways And trying so hard to have the other like me But I’m not even sure if I’m ready To accept these growing feelings At that I’m not even sure What I would even call these feelings I never felt them before… Read More Heart
Xexiar 