If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say? I wouldn’t spend a message, mainly because I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am now. No amount promises of happiness and peace will ever change what has… Read More Nothing
I don’t know how to describe it but I always feel like I’m home whenever I’m in a hardware store. Probably because I grew up in my dad’s shop, and went with him whenever he went shopping for parts. My dad is a plumber and was a super for an apartment building. I also used… Read More Rant 044
I will not get over the fact that compared to my siblings I actually tried to follow the religion my family is apart of. From the morals to what a person is supposed to be. I said “tired”. Even when my family and have very different opinions on how to follow such principles, along with… Read More Trauma Recovery 005
A part of me wants to start something but the other part is calling it a waste of time. Like trying to wait for everything to line up but then when I get there will I still make excuses that it’s not perfect enough. One of those things of being a traumatized perfectionist. I can’t… Read More Trauma Recovery 003
I love cooking and making stuff from scratch because for the brief time I become a kid again and have a blast making a mess. At that, the kind where I just don’t care because I’m enjoying myself. Best part, nobody is around to yell at me for the mess because it’s my kitchen! The… Read More Childlike Joy. Trauma Recovery 001
Just wanna vent. As much as I want to buy a new mattress next month, it’ll be super unreasonable for me to do so. Sure, my current mattress is pretty sunken in, but I can manage a little longer. But that’s not why it’ll be unreasonable to get a new mattress. I currently won’t be… Read More Health 033
I think quitting alcohol is much easier than overcoming my ED. In the sense that it’s easy to avoid alcohol when I’m broke, so it’s become easier to rationalize that I don’t need it. But when it comes to my ED I have to deal with food. Food is an important thing that is use… Read More Physical Health 012
What’s something most people don’t know about you? That’s a hard question since I’m very open about everything. Let’s see, I like baseball. I mostly enjoy playing, but I like to watch. I’m not a hardcore Yankees fan, but I appreciate good sportsmanship. I also enjoy watching and playing basketball. Same goes for soccer, tennis,… Read More
I think I ate 3 cans of beans this month, which is a lot for me. I’m very proud of myself. Especially since beans was a common food for dinner growing up. Maybe I’m eating more types of foods probably due to me having a list on my fridge of all the foods I currently… Read More Rant 022
After a night that had me spiraling to where my “unaliving” thoughts were strong, I’m slowly recovering today. Last night was so bad that I didn’t take my mood stabilizer (meds) because not only did I forget but also I have a very horrible history with medication. And today I slowly been unraveling a few… Read More Rant 019
