As I’m getting closer to starting HRT the more it’s sinking in things that should have been clear signs I was trans. Signs that pointed out if I had the knowledge and privilege to start transitioning I would have begun before puberty. I have written blogs about my childhood dream of having a gender pill… Read More Transitioning
Sometimes I wonder if I should have that long conversation with my parents about me being male. And when I think about it I get angry. I get frustrated and just want to avoid the whole topic all together. Other times I feel it be pointless. Like I can already hear them respond. When I… Read More I’m Strong?
As I’m thinking about it doing HRT before the removal of certain body parts is a much safer way to go, for me at least. Instead of the shock my body would face when taking out the shining actors would be painful. To suddenly have an organ that produces ripped out without preparing the body… Read More Transitioning
So like I just realized something. My family have always been “you eat everything.” “You’re pretty much a vacuum for food.” But then get shocked when I don’t want to eat or don’t like certain foods. Then they would argue with me about it. both my sisters are always stating how I’m a bottomless pit… Read More Foods
It just hit me how incredible my current situation is. How it helped me build how to physically care for myself and budget for my needs. And I’m so grateful. Especially since I have been fighting it for a long time, almost since I been here. And now I’m just soaking in the fact I… Read More Gratitude
So I was told, by a person at my bank, the way I spell my last name was strange. Strange in they never came across “Xavier” spelled as “Xexiar” lol To be fair… I mix letters all the time, not to mention having trouble with reading and writing for years. So spelling it as Xexiar… Read More Short Rant
Just noticed something.Due to my anxiety, mainly because it’s now ingrained in me that at few seconds a family member is gonna call for my attention.So now I can’t relax without constantly checking if everything is ok. Like, something finally click.Cause right now it’s just me and my cat in my room. But like every… Read More C-PTSD Ingrained Habit
As I’m cleaning my room a few thoughts keep crossing my mind. I’m practicing having a full argument over how I won’t get my work noticed because I don’t advertise enough. Or how I don’t ask for help when I need it. Let alone how I treat everyone around me. The more I thought on… Read More 9.23.2022
It’s such a great feeling to finally express that I was never female and that I’m male. Especially expressing that me saying I’m non-binary for so long was just me trying hard to accept I was born female. Almost like how I made every justification to call myself bisexual when that’s not true. I had… Read More
I’m excited that I’m going to be speaking with a professional about my gender dysphasia. As I’m thinking about this I’m left recalling a lot of things. Like how I always mention to people that I am a male that is in a female body. And how it took me into adulthood to find out… Read More Pure bliss
Xexiar 