Just noticed something.
Due to my anxiety, mainly because it’s now ingrained in me that at few seconds a family member is gonna call for my attention.
So now I can’t relax without constantly checking if everything is ok.

Like, something finally click.
Cause right now it’s just me and my cat in my room. But like every 5 seconds I’m checking to see where she’s ok and if she’s ok. It’s super hard to just know she’s with me and she’ll be fine.

Nope, every waking moment I’m checking to see something is out of place. Is my cat ok. Constantly jumping at any sudden noise. The mess up part is I’m like this because my family didn’t even let me breathe for 5 seconds.

At that, couldn’t even eat without my name being called every second. Can’t even get a bite in before like clockwork they called me. It got so bad that I wouldn’t even eat until I made sure everyone was ok first. Or worse, I had to wait till everyone was asleep.

When I did have the luxury to 5 minutes to myself it was filled with anxiety. Can’t listen to music. Oh whatever god forbid I would zone out long enough to work on a personal task. Because the moment I try and/or come back from said task everyone was angry with me because I didn’t respond at the drop of a hat.

It’s so frustrating since now I can’t even calm down. Nobody is calling my name or requesting my immediate attention. At best, my cat is fine and doesn’t need me to watch her 24/7. This is driving me crazy.