So like I just realized something. My family have always been “you eat everything.” “You’re pretty much a vacuum for food.” But then get shocked when I don’t want to eat or don’t like certain foods. Then they would argue with me about it. both my sisters are always stating how I’m a bottomless pit and have a strong stomach (there’s a few stories). But that’s not true.

What really happens is that everyone just force me to eat their leftovers, because of the whole “not waste food” mentality. Especially since it was something that was forced and not by choice. Even worse is when they don’t like a food after trying it and so they give it to me.

Leslie is the absolute worst when comes to this. Even after I said no multiple times, she wouldn’t stop until I finally take whatever she’s trying have me eat. A few examples would be: Chinese food, pastries, any leftovers she had from eating out.

Yet these are the same people who shamed me for eating too much. For being fat and unhealthy. Yet, because of them I struggled with food for so long.

And now, as I’m trying to build a healthy relationship with food and health I started to love cooking. Food doesn’t judge. Eating healthier is becoming easier the more I explore with my cooking. At that, I’m slowly not feeling shame and guilt when I don’t finish eating something. Which is a huge deal for me.

To be able to cook as brought me so much joy. Not to mention, it makes it easier to avoid fast/junk food. Since my tastebuds and pallet has changed greatly. Like I miss my greasy foods but I can now make healthier and taster versions. Which makes me so happy.