Finally gonna be starting the process for a back to work program. I’m super excited and happy.Sure, the extra money will help incredibly but I’m looking forward to finally being around people. Especially will eventually get to get rid of my “petty for one” ticket. Finally having my first place helping me get through a… Read More Health 046
Can’t sleep so I applied for jobs. Which made me realize how much my resume needed a huge upgrade and that I know more than I thought. Like I been downplaying myself for so long I became blind to all my skill sets. And the large range I have. Just to give an example under… Read More Rant 039
Today is kinda a rest day while also a reset day. I’ve pushed through my anxiety and used the weight room at the gym for 2 days straight. I kind of overdid it in the sense using that room is still kinda awkward, but I at least tried. But this week I have been lacking… Read More Health ###
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life? What’s considered a long life? Just living to see the next day to me is living a long life because not many reach my age or older. Which makes me grateful and I want to fill everyday I’m consciously living with something… Read More
Goal for 2025 is to stop being a perfectionist. From learning to not overthink the small details to giving myself the freedom to be the me when I used to be an alcoholic. The alcoholic me was free and just didn’t care. Was confident and just went for it. I want to be that without… Read More Trauma Recovery: 2025 Goals
I will not get over the fact that compared to my siblings I actually tried to follow the religion my family is apart of. From the morals to what a person is supposed to be. I said “tired”. Even when my family and have very different opinions on how to follow such principles, along with… Read More Trauma Recovery 005
It’s one of those things of I had a reached a decent point in many of my public profiles, but it was exhausting and I felt like a fake. And in my attempts to find myself again, I feel like I’m lacking something. Oh well, at least I’m trying and I’ll eventually get back to… Read More Trauma Recovery 004
It’s been 28 days since my hysterectomy, and I have made great progress since my last update. I am taking my sweet time recovering. From finally being able to wash both my hands at the same time to sleeping on my stomach. During my 2-week post-surgery checkup I have been giving the clear to sleep… Read More Health 041. Surgery Update
This month seems to be the hardest since I just seem to be gaining weight. At least for now, and I’m not gaining extremely. But it’s still very distressing. I weighed myself this morning and I’m 245 lbs. 😭At this rate I’ll be lucky to lose 2 pounds before the 31st. I know I shouldn’t… Read More Health 040
A part of me wants to start something but the other part is calling it a waste of time. Like trying to wait for everything to line up but then when I get there will I still make excuses that it’s not perfect enough. One of those things of being a traumatized perfectionist. I can’t… Read More Trauma Recovery 003
Xexiar 