Just had a realization. The people who told me my whole life on how I should spend my money are the very ones who has money issues. From debt to budgeting. And are extreme shopaholics. Like they rather buy high end items at expensive prices. Yet I was shamed for spending my own money on… Read More Rant 021
After a night that had me spiraling to where my “unaliving” thoughts were strong, I’m slowly recovering today. Last night was so bad that I didn’t take my mood stabilizer (meds) because not only did I forget but also I have a very horrible history with medication. And today I slowly been unraveling a few… Read More Rant 019
Some reason I feel my first aid supplies is lacking. Along with over the counter medicine. … OTC: pain relief (off brand Tylenol), nasel relief (allergy nose pump), theraflu. First aid: anitiseptic cleaning spray, 3% hydrogen peroxide (spray), 70% isopropyl alcohol (rubbing alcohol), ice cold analgesic gel (menthol 1.25%)[like iceyhot but not], 50 spf sunscreen,… Read More Rant 018
Some reason I’m having an imaginary conversation that could happen during my annual gyn exam and it’s with my surgeon. The conversation goes into me telling him my excitement and how gender euphoric it’s going to be. Along with how I’m trying to calm my anxiety. … Saying how regardless of my gender I would… Read More Rant 017
Don’t laugh too hard but I really realized that I can write in MY OWN books. Like books that I brought. At that, it wasn’t until college that I learned I can customize my sketchbook and anything that I owned. lol It feels nice not to have someone scream and shame me for not keeping… Read More Rant 015
I sometimes wonder why I’m always in the wrong. From the why I feel, my thoughts, my beliefs, my needs, just about anything that has to do with me. Today I just feel so inadequate and if I even dare try to express that why someone things always go one or two ways. One (typically… Read More Rant 010
Maybe I do have a problem and should at least try to express it. Like I’m very accustomed to not being a priority in anyone’s lives. I try my best to be understanding that life happens and things just comes up. But at the same time, that same pattern is what led me to having… Read More Second thought
Even though the chains are broken,I still have the collar and markings of my imprison. I still carry the weight of my chainsand can still see the bars on my windows. So, even though I’m miles away and chains are gone, my body still remembersevery last detail. No matter how much I run and try… Read More Poem: untitled
So as I’m sitting around today a little thought popped up. I wonder if I would do any justice if I were to write all my antithetical beliefs and thoughts about topics I feel strongly about, even though many of the topics are things I’ve observed and struggled to justify if I even can speak… Read More Rant 008
You ever been so lost and tired that you don’t recognize yourself no matter how hard you try. Where you keep wearing a mask but not sure how to take it off? Like I been so focused on saving money for potential rental deposit, since a lot of “assistances” wasn’t helping with that. I also… Read More Rant 007
Xexiar 