While I’m thinking about make up again, I’m trying to figure out my goal with it. I always loved doing very gothic makeup while playing with unnatural colors. Plus I want to attempt SX type makeup looks. But then it leads into the question on where do I start. I already got recommended a liquid… Read More Rant 001
Nothing like feeling extremely insecure about body parts and such to where you just want to get rid of everything and build yourself a new body. But not all that is possible.If it was I would replace my skin for one that isn’t damaged by years of skin picking. Which is impossible. All I can… Read More New year ramble
Based on how things went with a living situation, I now question a few things about myself. For example at what level of function do I truly have and what am I denying myself of. For it has been brought up to my attention multiplied times that I do have some issues with caring for… Read More Nov. 9 2023
3 days of no meds really hit hard. Like it made my depression hard to get out of and everything effects me worse. I’m glad I finally on meds that help me function to where my depression doesn’t make me numb to everything. It’s terrifying when I would get so numb that the only way… Read More The Right Medication
Planning out meals isn’t that exciting. But planning out a theme kinda is. Especially since the theme contains certain ingredients that go into multiple dishes. Instead of “I need this exact ingredient for this dish but a whole bunch of different ingredients for another.” Not to mention it’s much easier for me to put stuff… Read More Food Prep
What sucks about psychology, especially when you study it to mask the pain, is that with all the help in the world it still comes down to how you go about your life. You can have the absolutely amazing support system but nothing will change if you don’t change. I’m struggling and I noticed I… Read More
As I’m jointing down my to do list for the next day I made an interesting self discovery. The way I talk about myself and others is very different. So much that I never once thought about it until today. I don’t refer to my anatomy the same way I refer other people. I can… Read More Gender Dysphasia
As I’m struggling to bring myself to buy new clothes, I’m constantly cycling back to the same argument. That either, I have plenty of clothes and that I should hold off until I lose weight and have my place. While the other side of the argument is slowly based on the notion that I’m not… Read More Clothes Trauma
It just hit me how incredible my current situation is. How it helped me build how to physically care for myself and budget for my needs. And I’m so grateful. Especially since I have been fighting it for a long time, almost since I been here. And now I’m just soaking in the fact I… Read More Gratitude
So I was told, by a person at my bank, the way I spell my last name was strange. Strange in they never came across “Xavier” spelled as “Xexiar” lol To be fair… I mix letters all the time, not to mention having trouble with reading and writing for years. So spelling it as Xexiar… Read More Short Rant
Xexiar 