3 days of no meds really hit hard. Like it made my depression hard to get out of and everything effects me worse. I’m glad I finally on meds that help me function to where my depression doesn’t make me numb to everything. It’s terrifying when I would get so numb that the only way to feel was burning myself or drinking.

My emotions are all over the place, and now that on meds that work my emotions are manageable. I’m grateful to for once have a professional listen to my concerns and work with me to get me on the right meds. Instead of being overdosed or have harmful side effects.

They listen to me when I express my past with medications. Thanks to that we made it clear that I need low doses of whatever medicine I try. Which led to finding out I wasn’t crazy for certain side effects. How I’m highly sensitive to prescriptions and need to be careful.

Having this short time off my meds was a big blow to me. From how wild my emotions can get. Especially when things upsets me or if I’m exhausted. I’ve gotten in control with my current meds.

I still get my highs and lows but they’re not as extreme as before meds. At that, I’m able to think and be present with my emotions. Instead of having no control what my emotions make me do.

I have always been against medication for mental health due to my negative experience. But thanks to current situation I’m able to live. I’m able to give myself the emotional space to do a lot more than become paralyzed from emotions.

Sure, leaving New York helped improve my health. But it was the only way I could be able to find the help I needed. Since I wasn’t paralyzed by fear of my family. And so I had the freedom to open up without having to hold back.

Thanks to that, I was able to speak with a therapist. They helped me grateful in learning and putting to practice healthy coping skills. I met my case manager, whose helping me manage task that I need for my day to day life. Such as finding programs, how to use them. One of which is housing assistance.

I also got to meet my doctor and psychiatrist who have been kind and understanding. Especially when talking about my health concerns and goals. Speaking about doctors, they helped me get in touch with GYN clinic. Which gave me the chance to openly speak about transitioning.

So in the long run I’m happy where my life is going right now. I’m on the right medication for my moods and anxiety. I’m 17 weeks into my medical transition. Not to mention, I’m working on getting my first place I can finally call home. And to top it off, a new game for my favorite franchise is coming out May 12th.

While I’m working on my life goals I’ll have a new Zelda game to play with. Super excited. Plus I think I’m almost at the point where I’m mentally ok to start writing my book again.