Sometimes when I feel down on myself I look back on when I decided to become sober (alcohol). Which I’m reaching my 3rd year anniversary on May 9th.

Because it puts into perspective how far I came. Such as in 2023 I reached my heaviest at 270 lbs. But with lots of hard work, as of today I’m 242.6 lbs. Which is a huge accomplishment.

Along with quitting drinking cold turkey, I took therapy seriously. Along with truly trying to take better care of myself. At that, I marked the occasion of choosing to go sober with cutting my hair. For me if I learned to care for my hair I’ll learn to care for me.

My skin has cleared up. I don’t look sick or dead inside. I have more definition to my wave pattern for my hair. Like the in some spots I have tight wavy hair. Which makes me very happy.

That first year of sobriety took a lot out of me. Dealing with emotions that I had never addressed because it was easier to drink myself happy. Facing my anger issues head on was overwhelming.

Not to mention fighting off the strong urge to drink, especially when my mouth felt a type of dry that no matter how much water I drank it never left. Dealing with irritability and wanting to punch anyone for just looking in my direction.

Yet somehow I managed and pushed through the struggle of the first year of going cold turkey. But it was extremely hard during August and January, when my depression and self hatred was at its peak. At that, I almost got hint by a RED car in January 2024 because of out of it I was.

So, yeah. Whenever I feels I’m not making any progress I just look back to when I decided to go sober and when I was my heaviest. If only to prove to myself I came a long way and it’ll get better the further I continue.