There are times where being self aware makes me look at my family in a way that has me questioning how the hell did I survive “that”. The same family who didn’t normalize speaking about hospital, protective sex, or anything that has to do with physical health and self care. Along with being so emotionally… Read More Rant 013
You ever been so lost and tired that you don’t recognize yourself no matter how hard you try. Where you keep wearing a mask but not sure how to take it off? Like I been so focused on saving money for potential rental deposit, since a lot of “assistances” wasn’t helping with that. I also… Read More Rant 007
Don’t get me wrong, I have very hyped games on my switch but my switch is just for my chill games. Nintendo has always been my gamer version of a good book. The sit down and vibe. Sometimes it’s the stand up and play, along with family competition. But my main baby, aka my wife,… Read More Rant 006. Gaming
While I’m thinking about make up again, I’m trying to figure out my goal with it. I always loved doing very gothic makeup while playing with unnatural colors. Plus I want to attempt SX type makeup looks. But then it leads into the question on where do I start. I already got recommended a liquid… Read More Rant 001
Nothing like feeling extremely insecure about body parts and such to where you just want to get rid of everything and build yourself a new body. But not all that is possible.If it was I would replace my skin for one that isn’t damaged by years of skin picking. Which is impossible. All I can… Read More New year ramble
3 days of no meds really hit hard. Like it made my depression hard to get out of and everything effects me worse. I’m glad I finally on meds that help me function to where my depression doesn’t make me numb to everything. It’s terrifying when I would get so numb that the only way… Read More The Right Medication
As I’m jointing down my to do list for the next day I made an interesting self discovery. The way I talk about myself and others is very different. So much that I never once thought about it until today. I don’t refer to my anatomy the same way I refer other people. I can… Read More Gender Dysphasia
As I’m struggling to bring myself to buy new clothes, I’m constantly cycling back to the same argument. That either, I have plenty of clothes and that I should hold off until I lose weight and have my place. While the other side of the argument is slowly based on the notion that I’m not… Read More Clothes Trauma
As I’m getting closer to starting HRT the more it’s sinking in things that should have been clear signs I was trans. Signs that pointed out if I had the knowledge and privilege to start transitioning I would have begun before puberty. I have written blogs about my childhood dream of having a gender pill… Read More Transitioning
Sometimes I wonder if I should have that long conversation with my parents about me being male. And when I think about it I get angry. I get frustrated and just want to avoid the whole topic all together. Other times I feel it be pointless. Like I can already hear them respond. When I… Read More I’m Strong?
Xexiar 