There are times where being self aware makes me look at my family in a way that has me questioning how the hell did I survive “that”. The same family who didn’t normalize speaking about hospital, protective sex, or anything that has to do with physical health and self care. Along with being so emotionally unavailable.

And you know what happened, the oldest and the youngest of 3 kids became parents as teenagers. The only medical condition that anyone is relatively sure of are how a certain medication effects us or how a family member died. Along with a type of skin condition. But because nobody actually talks to each other or have open discussions about health issues there’s no official family records of conditions that we should be mindful of.

Like how on my mom side of the family addictions is a huge problem. From alcohol to drugs to behaviors. The only thing that mom (the one I grew up calling mom) has only confirmed that on the female side of the family we have to be worried about heart problems. Mind you, she is my family by blood because her and my birth mom are cousins. Especially on the female side of the family. So anything that affects the females in my family I absolutely have to worry about.

And to learn that my aunt and Leslie had the same condition that resulted in needing a hysterectomy, just adds onto why me getting a hysterectomy is a huge prevention for issues that can easily happen to me. Along with how my biological mother died of ovulan cancer. So having both living and dead females in my bloodline having reproductive health issues is a huge deal. Especially for the age range they were in.

If my math is correct, my biological mother died at the age of 35. I’m currently 31. Leslie got her hysterectomy done last year, she’s 40. At that, she’s been suffering from her condition for almost her entire life since she started her period. And I’m not sure much on when my aunt dealt with her condition or how old she got her hysterectomy, but she’s passed 55 from my knowledge.

And I have been informed, during my time being with my biological mother, that the females in our bloodline also suffered from breast cancer, spinal conditions, and other birth defects. Not mention how the females in our bloodline have extremely difficult pregnancy that makes it evident that we shouldn’t even get pregnant.

Which just goes to show that my childhood stance on never having kids of my own was right. Sure all this knowledge I gathered as I grew, but I had always had this belief of never having kids because I didn’t want to be like the people around me.

Plus, this also gives me more drive that my transition isn’t just to make me happy, but the great bonus is that I’m preventing a lot of health risks and giving myself a higher chance at a physically healthy life. Even if I wasn’t male I would have still sought out preventive surgeries.