You have left this worldLeaving me powerlessNo amount of begging or pleadingWill ever bring you back But what am I to doFor everywhere I turnTraces of you are still thereEvery taskIs not the same I can’t breathe or thinkWithout the crushing painStinking me lower to the ground I just want toRun from this realityAnd into… Read More Grief of a Love One
Even though the chains are broken,I still have the collar and markings of my imprison. I still carry the weight of my chainsand can still see the bars on my windows. So, even though I’m miles away and chains are gone, my body still remembersevery last detail. No matter how much I run and try… Read More Poem: untitled
As I’m washing dishes my thoughts about the whole asking for a day type agreement within a relationship popped up. And as I’m picturing how I would explain myself in that conversation, a statement just stands out. “We’re adults and I’m very aware I’m not your first priority. I’m aware how easily I’ll become background… Read More Rant 002
Based on how things went with a living situation, I now question a few things about myself. For example at what level of function do I truly have and what am I denying myself of. For it has been brought up to my attention multiplied times that I do have some issues with caring for… Read More Nov. 9 2023
Sometimes I wonder if the rose on the other side ever feels lonely. With how much I scream and shout, it will never hear me. The way this glass box surrounds me, I can feel the oxygen escaping my lungs. But there is no door or window for me to leave. The rose is just… Read More A Rose
As I’m jointing down my to do list for the next day I made an interesting self discovery. The way I talk about myself and others is very different. So much that I never once thought about it until today. I don’t refer to my anatomy the same way I refer other people. I can… Read More Gender Dysphasia
As I’m struggling to bring myself to buy new clothes, I’m constantly cycling back to the same argument. That either, I have plenty of clothes and that I should hold off until I lose weight and have my place. While the other side of the argument is slowly based on the notion that I’m not… Read More Clothes Trauma
Just noticed something.Due to my anxiety, mainly because it’s now ingrained in me that at few seconds a family member is gonna call for my attention.So now I can’t relax without constantly checking if everything is ok. Like, something finally click.Cause right now it’s just me and my cat in my room. But like every… Read More C-PTSD Ingrained Habit
It feels like I lost a friend. But I think it’s just that I no longer have someone to talk to when I’m feeling such strong emotions. At best I should bring this up with my therapist. Yet it’s something I have trouble with and I’m slowly falling back into that pattern of just giving… Read More September 13, 2022
More reasons to get a full hysterectomy. Sure, I never wanted my reproductive organs. But it’s nice to know that it’s scientifically proven that these organs are damaging my health. Where no form of diet can improve my condition. Making it a must that I do receive surgery. It’s nice to have health issues that… Read More PCOS
Xexiar 