As I’m cleaning my room a few thoughts keep crossing my mind. I’m practicing having a full argument over how I won’t get my work noticed because I don’t advertise enough. Or how I don’t ask for help when I need it. Let alone how I treat everyone around me. The more I thought on… Read More 9.23.2022
I put in so much work into avoiding something and I usually do a good job at it until someone points it out. After that I fall back into the cycle of that bad habit and then I get blame for doing it again. I been doing so good until you said something. And then… Read More I Just Want to Scream
Sometimes I wake and don’t recognize where I am Sometimes I wake and all I feel is scared I’m just roaming around Wondering will I ever wake up Roaming and questioning When will I wake up and be the nightmare all over again I’m still wearing that smile Like it’s real I’m still falling for… Read More Sometimes
Know what’s the worst thing I heard growing up suicidal. Constantly being told to think about other people and how they would feel. Not once did anyone validate my feelings and tried to speak to me about why I felt that way. Making it ever so clear that I wasn’t even important enough to be… Read More Suicide
Know what sucks about constantly dealing with suicidal ideations and urges, is that I’m constantly avoiding medication. From pain meds to psychaitris meds. Especially because that was always my way out. Too many times coming close to overdose. Even worse when going through the process to be prescribed heavy meds to go through with finally… Read More Pills
I must be a fool. As the night lingers, I wonder to myself. I have done all I could for those around me. I had conformed to what everyone wanted of me. Even trying to contain my thoughts to myself. And in the end, I’m all alone. I have tried endlessly to fill this void… Read More A Fool
As of this moment I am safe. Yes, I was thinking suicide as I wrote this and was planning to, until I got to the end. It’s currently the only thing that’s making me debt killing myself. Trying to relieve some pain but deep down i really do with I could pull the plug to… Read More Poem: Suicide Note
I’m trapped I look in a mirror and don’t recognize who’s looking back I look down and become reminded of a part of me That I just want to rip away I feel something crawling under the flesh to this body Is this really me Even if I change will I still look into that… Read More Pride. Day 20. Poetry. Pain
I think being home for so long is finally getting to me, plus other things. I was always a home type person and rarely went out. It’s that I have a few other problems now. Let me explain. It’s very hard for me to pick up new things. This is due to anxiety and my… Read More Pride. Day 16. Dry
Yesterday something came up and was not in the mood to post. Sorry about that. Also, I got rid of the order I’m posting prompts and just posting whatever. Yesterday I finally told my therapist a few things about me. I finally openly admitted to a professional about something I been struggling with. I confused… Read More Pride 2020: Not Female: Day 5
Xexiar 