Sometimes when I feel down on myself I look back on when I decided to become sober (alcohol). Which I’m reaching my 3rd year anniversary on May 9th. Because it puts into perspective how far I came. Such as in 2023 I reached my heaviest at 270 lbs. But with lots of hard work, as… Read More Health 062
Besides my perfectionism holding me back, I’m starting to think that my fear of injury is also making it difficult to make any progress in my health journey. Especially since I’m constantly convincing myself I’m not ready for something because I could get hurt if done wrong. It’s even more apparent since I’m doing this… Read More Health. Rant 042
Not me trying to figure out my expenses for “what if” when I potentially start working again. Especially figuring out how would I afford Adobe CC to be able to work. … The whole point of me figuring out how I’ll be able to afford Adobe CC is due to it still being an industry… Read More Rant 035: Tech
Goal for 2025 is to stop being a perfectionist. From learning to not overthink the small details to giving myself the freedom to be the me when I used to be an alcoholic. The alcoholic me was free and just didn’t care. Was confident and just went for it. I want to be that without… Read More Trauma Recovery: 2025 Goals
My horrible emotions this past few days has made me gain 5 lbs. I’m close to not caring the rest of the month. But I can’t do that to myself. I gotta at least go from 244 to 240 by December 31th. At least close to 240. I’m not mad or disappointed, because I know… Read More Health 039
As I’m going through recovery I’m also getting better at accepting help. But what really makes me feel a sense of joy is that I noticed that for certain moments I’m reacting completely different than how the rest of my family would react. It brings me peace that there’s another part of me that is… Read More Rant 031
Watching a video on professional attire for a job interview and it triggered a funny conversation I had with my sister before. Since she’s constantly telling me how I should wear color and have a very professional outfits. She would always tell me to stop wearing black. Even though, black is one of the most… Read More Trauma Recovery 002
For someone who talks a lot online, especially in written format, I am dogshit terrified of doing so in video format. For goodness sake, I have made accounts just to make vlog like post. But my dumb truck of a behind thinks I’m gonna fuck up because I’m not interesting or with how I don’t… Read More Rant 030
I love cooking and making stuff from scratch because for the brief time I become a kid again and have a blast making a mess. At that, the kind where I just don’t care because I’m enjoying myself. Best part, nobody is around to yell at me for the mess because it’s my kitchen! The… Read More Childlike Joy. Trauma Recovery 001
Come home after surgery and all my knowledge of being mindful and calm kicked itself out the window. It took me practically 3 days to remember who tf I was and all my skills. Like SERIOUSLY! All my planning and getting myself together mentally went straight out the window the moment I got home. I… Read More Health 032
