So I had a fun thought this morning that I kept thinking about. So imma share it with you.

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Since I’m gonna be put to sleep for my surgery I been absolutely terrified of the idea of such a thing. And as time progresses and I’m getting closer I’m slowly getting my brain ready to not have a panic attack when it’s time.

But today I recall my experience with a certain type of anxiety medication that gave me a horrible migraine and knocked me out. Like I’m talking about I’ll be talking sleepy before I’m down for the cut. If wasn’t for the service headaches that came with it I would be addicted to those shits. I’m talking about my body did not like it to the point that I started getting a second side effect.

And then I recall my time dealing with getting my wisdom teeth removed. For the right side I had my anxiety under control because I was able to have my headphones in and listen to music. For the left side I thought I’ll tough it out and ended up having anxiety attack to where I could feel EVERYTHING. So they had to give me some sleeping gas to calm me down. Afterwards I got my headphones and listened to music.

So my thought today was how I can easily get through the whole being put to sleep part of doing surgery. I’m trying to psych myself out and remind myself how I practice fall asleep at the dentist now. Like I used to be terrified to the point I used to run out the dentist office. But now I fall asleep.

So I’m trying to tell myself that the only thing that’s gonna happen when I get surgery is imma be out cold, organs removed, and when I wake up my throat gonna feel funny because of tubes. And potentially being allergic to surgery tape. Which I doubt because I have yet had allergic reaction. But that’s because my body wasn’t going through the stress of surgery.

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The closer I’m getting to surgery the more comfortable I’m getting with the concept of going through a medical procedure that I’m gonna be asleep for.

Like bro! If I were to still be with fam, I would be chicken shit at the mere thought of surgery. Now I’m ok.