Just finished a 15 minute strength workout and I noticed something. When I was attempting to do some leg lifts, I felt out of control. Like it was easy to breathe and keep form, but something about it didn’t feel right. Almost like I was too relaxed and lacked focus.

When dealing with weights and squats I felt amazing, even when my breathing was heavy. Like I actually felt I was challenging myself.
But I need to do some form of lower body strength training.

I should add walking lunges to my routine. It’s weird. Something that came up during my first round of physical therapy for my lower half, it was brought to my attention that I am strong* in that area. But my issue comes down to how tight I am.

Been working on relaxing those muscles but it’s hard to accept such things over having overworked these muscles. Then again, I can understand how. Besides me being overweight and constantly walking all the time, along with certain traumatic events. I also tend to tighten my core throughout the day.

I really been struggling to relax and maintain a relaxed state for long term. But I will say, it gives me some confidence that trying to focus more on my upper body will eventually even everything out.

Sure squats are difficult, in succession, but going about everyday task that requires me to get low isn’t hard.

I really do put a lot of pressure on myself. So, from now on I’m going to put extra emphasis on upper body. Not saying I’ll stop doing lower body, kinda need that for current workouts. But just saying it won’t be my main focus.

I think I did mention this to a trainer when I was starting at a gym (not the gym I go to now). I mentioned how I’m trying to aim for more upper body resistance training. She kept insisting cardio and lower body, with some core, would be better for me. Especially when considering losing weight. I tried telling her that I do enough cardio that it would be overkill, in my case.

Not saying that person was wrong. But my perception of cardio is very subjective. I’m constantly on the move and so I want to challenge muscle I don’t normally use. On a daily basis I rarely have an excuse to lift heavy objects, unless someone needs help moving something. So, for me, it makes sense to work on muscle.

Plus, certain cardio machinesare awkward for me. Either too high, or too short. The sound can become overstimulating. Don’t get me wrong. I have tried to my full capacity to use them, but it’s super annoying with a lot of physical limitations (I’m big and have a huge chest).

Because of my limitations I look forward to being small enough, and hopefully no longer having a chest, where I can comfortably use certain machines. Especially since they all look so much fun!

I’m very hyper aware of my weight that certain things look impossible and uncomfortable. So my goal is to be down to a certain weight so I can do all sorts of exercises, in a comfortable manner. Especially since those will help me lose any weight I’m still struggling to get rid of.

As long as I keep working at it I’ll be able to work on my endurance to go running.